So there's this blonde out for a walk. She comes to a river and sees another blonde on the opposite bank. She shouts, "Yoohoo! How can I get to the other side?" The second blonde looks up the river and then down the river, and then shouts back, "You ARE on the other side."
What has four legs and one arm? A happy pit bull.
What has four legs and one ear? Mike Tyson's pit bull.
What do you say to a one-legged hitchhiker? "Hop in."
Did you guys hear the one about the blonde who, after being unemployed for a while, gets a job with Public Works? She's to paint the lines down the center of a rural road. The supervisor tells her that she's on probation and that she has to stay at or above the set average of two miles per day to stay employed. The blonde agrees to the conditions and starts right away. The supervisor checks at the end of the first day and finds that the blonde covered four miles--double the average. The next day, though, he's disappointed to find that the blonde has only finished TWO miles. But he figures, well, she's still at the average and I don't want to discourage her, so I'll just keep quiet. The third day, the blonde only does ONE mile, though, and the boss decides to talk to her. He pulls her in and says, "You were doing so great. The first day you did four miles, the second day two miles, but yesterday you only did one mile. Why? Is there a problem? An injury, equipment failure? What's keeping you from meeting the two-mile minimum?" And the blonde says, "Well, each day I keep getting farther and farther from the bucket."
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