Monday, May 20, 2013

THREE JOKES YOU WISH YOU'D TOLD

    Remember: some people are alive only because it's illegal to kill em.

    You guys hear the one about the blonde who gets a brand new sports car for her 16th birthday? While she's out driving, she cuts off a tractor-trailer. The driver motions her to pull off to the side of the road. When she pulls over, the truck pulls up behind her and the driver gets out. He takes a piece of chalk out of pocket and draws a circle around the blonde. He tells her not to step out of the circle, and then he pulls out a pocketknife, goes to her car, and cuts her leather seats all up. When he turns around, the blonde is stifling a giggle. So he says, "You think that's funny, watch what I do now." Using the knife again, he slashes all four of her tires. Now she's laughing. The driver gets really mad, goes into his truck and pulls out a bat, and smashes her windows and her car all up. The blonde starts laughing so hard she can barely stand up. Now the truck driver gets really mad, gets a gas can out of his truck and torches her car. And now the blonde is on the ground, rolling around, laughing her head off. The truck driver looks at her and says, "What's so funny?!" And the blonde says, "When you weren't looking I stepped outside the circle four times!"


   A blonde walks into a store. She sees a shiny object, and she asks the clerk, "What is that?" Clerk says "It's a thermos." Blonde says "What does it do?" Clerk says "It keeps hot things hot, and cold things cold." So the blonde buys one. Next day she brings it to work. Her boss, who's also a blonde, asks "What's that shiny object?" First blonde says, "It's a thermos." The boss says, "What does it do?" Blonde says "It keeps hot things hot, and cold things cold." Boss says, "What do you have in there?" Blonde says, "Two cups of coffee and a popsicle."

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